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Ultimate Bad Ass: Quarterfinals - John McClane bracket

Started by Mike Olbinski · 10 months ago

So we’re down to our last matchup for the Quarterfinals of Ultimate Bad Ass. It’s been…interesting, but so far the races haven’t been as close as a few were last round.
This time we’re looking at the John McClane bracket. Luckily for ... Continue reading »

19 comments

  • Mike

    1 year ago

    McClane off to an early lead!
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  • Kory

    1 year ago

    Somewhat surprised that McClane is out of the gate so fast.
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  • Jason

    1 year ago

    John McClane studies his face in the mirror of his hotel room. The battle taking place tomorrow doesn't feel right. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, not Christmas. And he's getting old.

    "Well, Johnnie, you better pull yourself together," he says out loud to himself in the mirror. "Tomorrow's a big day. Who is this guy I'm fighting tomorrow anyway?"

    "The name is Bond. James Bond." The voice behind him startles McCane, but instincts take over and he immediately drops to the floor as the mirror above him explodes under a hail of bullets. Using his feet he is able to close the door. Bond is somewhere in the hotel room behind him.

    "I'm getting too old for this," he says to himself. "Our battle is tomorrow you dumb prick," he yells out. I already bought pay-per-view!" Another round of bullets rips through the thin door. "It's Star Trek: Generations!"

    The gunfire stops abruptly. McClane looks around for a weapon but can find nothing but a toilet plunger. There are no windows. He's trapped.

    "Oh hell." McClane jumps up and barrels through the door screaming and charging for his gun on the nightstand, fully expecting to run into a wall of bullets. Instead he runs into the wall. There's no one in the room. Quickly he grabs his gun and checks for bullets. It's loaded. But something's not right. Bond had him. Where did he go?

    "Come on John, you're a bad ass. Why not be the ultimate bad ass?" John talks to himself as quickly pokes his head out of the door and checks the hallway. Nothing. "It's only a couple of rounds. You're a top seed. Piece of cake. Piece of cake, my ass!" John walks over and cautiously checks out the balcony. Nothing but air and a five story drop to the pool below. He walks back to the center of the room and looks around.

    "Would you like to see my license to kill?" The voice comes from behind John. He spins around and fires but there's no one there. John feels his shoulder burn as a bullet rips through his arm.

    "What the hell?" John begins shooting around the room indescriminately. For a brief moment he sees a flicker of light by the balcony. He's invisible? Suddenly, John charges towards the balcony. He feels the weight of an invisible body slam into his chest as they both go over the side of the building. Falling. Falling. Into the pool.

    "I see you now!" John yells as he pulls Bond up from under the water and begins pummeling his face with his fists. Bond's invisibility cloak no longer works in the pool. He's now at a severe disadvantage as John has been pissed off and is missing his pay-per-view. Bond manages pull out a cyanide tipped pen, but John pries it from his grip before he can use it and shoves it into Bond's eye. "Can you see me now?"

    Bond lives just long enough for McClane to force him to inhale two lungs full of water before succumbing to the cyanide.
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  • Mike

    1 year ago

    Yippee ki yay....
    reply
  • Cap'n Schwartz

    1 year ago

    LOL @ Jason the best write up yet... I totally picture ole Jonnie saying these things, lol... well done..."He’s now at a severe disadvantage as John has been pissed off and is missing his pay-per-view." ROFL

    I agree McClane wins this one...
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  • MadFan

    1 year ago

    McClane would probably put a bullet in James' head while he is fooling around with another woman..

    "Yippee ki yay mother f***** womanizer" *headshot*
    reply
  • Kory

    1 year ago

    @ Jason - Yet another classic! Agree with the Cap'n as I can picture McClane talking to himself in that sarcastic voice of his. Loved the part of McClane calling Bond a dumb prick.
    reply
  • Scotty Dub

    1 year ago

    @ Jason -great stuff as always, but I did give the nod to Bond. He's been around for 40+ yrs, yet seems to get younger all the time. The Daniel Craig version would have McClane scratching his nuts. :-)

    Scotty Dubs last blog post..Travel Diary; Do you know the way to San Jose? I do
    reply
  • jina

    1 year ago

    I voted for Bond too... gadgets are cool!
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  • Jason

    1 year ago

    Gadgets can't save you from a Bad Ass...
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  • Scotty Dub

    1 year ago

    But if you're already a Bad Ass and you have gadgets...hmmmm.

    Scotty Dubs last blog post..Travel Diary; Do you know the way to San Jose? I do
    reply
  • jina

    1 year ago

    Exactly Scott! It's basic math:

    Bad Ass + Gadgets = Bigger Bad Ass than John McClane
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  • nicky

    1 year ago

    I voted for Bond too, just based on looks of course. :)

    nickys last blog post..Temporary Hiatus.
    reply
  • Mike

    1 year ago

    Nicky, which Bond though? :)
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  • nicky

    1 year ago

    well, they're all cuter than bruce willis, that's for sure.

    nickys last blog post..Temporary Hiatus.
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  • Cap'n Schwartz

    1 year ago

    Roger moore is?
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  • nicky

    1 year ago

    back in the day, with a tux, and his trademark super tan...yes. but this is compared to bruce willis keep in mind!

    nickys last blog post..Temporary Hiatus.
    reply
  • Raven Spinner

    1 year ago

    I look forward to John's battle story every time. :D

    Raven Spinners last blog post..My Alternatives to Plastic!
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  • Jason

    1 year ago

    Well, he's certainly tearing up James Bond right now.
    reply

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